the eptitaph of hell
by SomePsycho
Summary: You think it's just a game... but what you call entertainment they call hell


Disclaimer: "Mr. Myamoto Would you sell me all your Nintendo stuff for a dollar?"   
"…No." "You've obviously never heard of 10-10-4-40 where you can get all your 20   
minute pho-" "Go away kid… You bother me"  
?  
Here it was again. It now seemed more like normal life to this poor plumber then   
his once easy existence in New York. That damn kid wanted to play with his toys again,   
and that meant pain, suffering, and usually death, in fact, always death. It didn't matter   
that you were brought back to life every time with the weakness and numbing pain from   
battle completely gone. You still died, died as many times as that little shit wanted to let   
you. Within the first week Mario no longer wanted to reappear on that shinny platform in   
the sky. He no longer took any semblance of pride in his victories. Sure the spectators   
thought he did, he always struck a fancy pose after he defeated… no murdered his former   
friends and enemies like they were all so many little monsters threatening the   
continuation of life itself. He had been forced into the life of a passionless killer who   
preformed for the entertainment of others. They even showed him doing it on their   
"entertainment systems" all the while thinking he was some program in their "Game   
cubes." Thinking that they were in fact the ones who were doing the killing. They called   
it entertainment… Mario called it Hell.   
Mario felt the urge to display his murderous skills invading his mind once again.   
The unavoidable command to kill whatever was placed before him returned. This time   
that seemingly bitter enemy was a shock to Mario. He had killed his brother countless   
times… In fact those battles were actually kinda fun… in a very sadistic way. He had   
also ended the life of his closest friend and ally Yoshi, who had fought beside him in all   
their terrible battles before this abyss. He had fought hard with Yoshi, constantly trying to   
break the compulsion to send this friendly dinosaur into oblivion and simply reach out to   
once again hug his great friend… That first time Yoshi wasn't under this spell and was   
ultimately confused as to why his mighty comrade was trying to end his life with the fury   
of any demon they together had faced. Eventually after multiple injuries the great reptile   
finally mustered the nerve to fight back. "This can't be him. It must be an imposter" he   
finally concluded and unleashed his first vicious attack just before being grabbed and   
thrown into a wall… an explosive wall… the next thing he knew was the complete   
blackness of death and defeat.   
That first battle had sent Mario into the state of despair that he had yet to recover   
from… probably never would. But this, this was too much. To fight the one he truly   
loved, the one he had risked his life to save so often. No! They can't do this to him!   
Everything sacred in this world was already destroyed but this one thing, his Peach. The   
blood lust in his mind suddenly sky rocketed, 'You will kill this one too' it seemed to   
say. "Never! There isn't a powerful enough force in this universe to make me do that, not   
even in this God forsaken, hell hole." "Then why are you shooting fire at her?"   
Mario was almost as surprised to hear the voice as he was to find that it told the   
truth. He had just used the same attack that he had on so many evils in this world on the   
love of his life. As Mario stared at what he had done to his love he noticed that the fire   
seemed to move from the spot on her dress where he hit her straight into her eyes. That   
attack had somehow created a nearly magical fury within the princess of the Mushroom   
Kingdom and Mario was sure that red glow was exactly what Yoshi had seen in his eyes   
at the start of their battle.   
"If you do not fight her now she will kill you anyway… Even worse, She will   
hate how pathetic you will look as she does it. She will hate you." Again that unmerciful   
voice rang through his mind. And most of his mind believed exactly what had been   
said… Every part in fact, except the one that would let him avoid that vicious slap   
coming at his head. POW! He was knocked face first into the ground, directly within the   
folds of the Princesses dress… which seemed to have weights or something sewn into the   
hem. The princess used this newly discovered weapon by twirling in a horrific cyclone   
that pummeled poor Mario's body continually with enough force to break every bone he   
had. With that the terrifying woman picked the fat plumber off the ground and with   
another tremendous slap sent Mario into that black oblivion he so craved. All he could   
think while flying at that hideous wall was "I'm sorry I passed this to you… I'm so   
sorry." All the while hearing the cackling voice of that demented child in his head ringing   
out with the only epitaph one received here "You lose." 


End file.
